The Chance

There is always one chance to make things work if you have been given the opportunity to... any more than that is only because someones heart is really there for you. There is a lot to lose in a great relationship. Not everyone has the motivation to keep everything flowing smoothly all the time. There is always a thousand other chances for you to screw things up whereas there is still only one chance for you to make it work.

One little mistake can get you into a heap of disgusting looking trouble! Stay out of that position if at all possible. Its a dog eat dog world and everyone is just trying to do what they feel like they have to do. There are people who completely ignore their own morals just to fill another void. There are people that stand their ground quite firmly but when a situation comes up that puts them in danger, they abandon ship on everything they believe in. Chances are, you have had something similar happen.

I don't at all condone drug or alcohol use... in fact I suggest you steer clear of both all together. But through every trial, you are made stronger. I have swam up shit's creek against the current in a terrible thunderstorm and somehow made it back to dry land again. And it is the absolute driest earth I have ever stood on. I have never been so firm in what I believe. It is almost like I've been given the chance to start learning all over again, building better standards for myself, working out the rough spots in my life.

I used to be the kind of guy that sways around, following everyone around's actions, hoping I would be accepted by them. I used to be the kind of guy that would do some bizarre things for attention... and it usually worked. I used to live life as close to the edge as I could get without killing myself. I used to probe around at parties, seeing who had the goods and make sure they made it into my body... its the life of a hardcore party animal. Someone who parties day and night, not caring what happens next.

But I got a chance to turn things around. It wasn't a literal chance, it was the kind of chance where you find hope for yourself and you follow through to see where it leads you. Well so far, so good. I've been on a good path, sorting out problems from the past, and correcting little things about myself as I go. The only good thing about having to deal with consequences that can hurt you, is that you will never have to worry about making the same mistakes again. Most of us are mature enough to realize that if we put anything metal in the microwave, then the outcome is going to be all bad news. I am sure almost everyone has done it at least once... but after that, you come to the realization that if you decide to do that again, then you are going to have to pay the consequences. So it becomes more of a habit than anything else to remove the spoon or fork from your bowl of leftover lasagna before inserting it into the microwave.

So to close I would like to say, first chances can help you express who you are and possibly hide all the bad things about yourself, making it so it seems these bad traits never existed... like a fresh start. Second chances are usually given after doing something to break trust or show yourself unworthy and then the other person believing that you could make a change for the better. In a way, it is more unlikely for these bad things to come up ever again if you have had to face the consequences of your actions. So the second chance can be golden... but don't mess it up the first time around if you haven't lost that chance already.

-quixotic-