The Power of Ministry

Before talking about ministry I should tell you some things about myself. I am not a minister first of all. The life I've chosen has proven to be a difficult one and I have made many mistakes along the way. Over the course of 2 years I managed to break several hearts and lose nearly all my friends to a violent multiple drug addiction and alcohol abuse. For the past few weeks I have been striving to regain trust and initiate new friendships that will last me for life if I treat them correctly.

So the power of ministry is working in my life. Some one spoke to me in words that I could relate to and initially brought me to my knees so to speak. You should know first of all that ignorance is bliss. But bliss doesn't get you anywhere in life. Struggles and road blocks being overcome teach lessons which in turn help you to deal with future problems much easier. I was told by this person that I have made for myself a barricade of problems to keep me from seeing the truth. I was in denial. I was in fact hiding behind a load of problems and things that I had already sent spiraling out of control. My life was on a sure path to ruins. He said that I had no where to turn and I had no one to count on. At first I doubted it in my subconscious mind... then I thought a little harder about it and realized that he wasn't far from having me completely figured out.

When you are a drug addict, you don't realize it. Constant denial is what drags you further and further down. Its not being physically or mentally addicted to drugs that make you a drug addict. Its the fact that when asked to use again, you give in every time. I was both physically and mentally addicted to some of the worst drugs you could imagine. With an ample supply of drug money and more drug dealers numbers than anyone you could imagine, I was having no problems getting my hands on anything. Lsd was readily available on speed dial, herion was just one text away, crack was on delivery, cocaine was cheap and good and quite plentiful, mushrooms didn't come around very often but when they did, I was one of the first to know. Ketamine, xanax, pain killers, methadone, mescaline, even authentic absinthe was all in the palm of my hand. But it all changed do to the power of ministry.

"Life as you know it is crumbling at God's feet," He said. "You are disgracing yourself in front of your family, friends, daughter, and God himself." I laughed a little because he sounded like billy sunday yelling and rambling on at me and not to me. But I listened carefully because he had my attention. "Living is a gift, and you are throwing it all away. You have more potential than anyone I know and you are flushing every bit of it down the drain." I cried. I cried until my eyes were dry. When some one tells you that you can do something and then tells you that you have lost your chance to do it a second later, it burns every organ in your body. This was it. This was the second I lost my addiction, the second I promised myself I would leave my entire old life in the dust and start fresh.

It has been six days since I have returned home to my family. they had not seen or talked to me in weeks before that. I had a room waiting for me, basic cable, all the food I wanted, caring sisters and parents, clothes, a comfortable bed to sleep in, all my musical instruments, and even wonderful pets! Returning home was like a dream to me. I had everything I needed to succeed right here. Not to mention a free ride at over 30 different colleges around the country in almost every state that I wasn't taking advantage of until now. The power of ministry struck me to my knees and brought me back to home. Home is not just a place to live, it is a place to grow.

-Quixotic-