I'm leaving a life of choas and constant regret for a life of singularity and authenticity. You can only stand on your feet for so long until the earthquake knocks you over. What happens now? Where do I go from here? Well I'll tell you first off what my intentions are...
I am going to hold my head up, because there are many that want me to fail... and by being positive, it will never happen. I am following my dreams, and I am following every one that I've ever had. I am bringing in new ideas to reform the way I live and function, because the old ways were not working. I will work my hardest at my job and do whatever I can to make money until next year. Then it will be time to start school. I will be going 5 days a week from 8am to 5pm. I will give it everything I've got. After the first year, I will hope to have a job that will help me pay for a mortgage on a house. Ill fix the house up and make it my home. From there I will begin to search for a woman that has her head on straight that I can live with as long as my heart decides to beat.
Now enough about me... let me tell you what I've learned this past year and moreso, this past week:
This goes to anyone that feels alone or is worried about never finding the right person. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE! (Unless you are approaching old age. then I would recommend joining a good dating site.) If you are that worried about being alone, then you don't know who you are yet. If you have found yourself, then you know exactly what I mean. Anyone else that comes into your life is just a bonus. You are now and will always be just one person. A relationship shouldn't be two people glued together for eternity... it should be two separate individuals that live, learn, and love each other unconditionally and whole heartedly with a safe and trusting distance between. You have your entire life to gain experience with the person you find after you marry them. Don't rush anything and don't spend every second with them.
Family:
I've always had family around... and they've always supported me through everything (even when I am wrong, unfortunately). But it wasn't until recently that I discovered that all of my family has been through everything I have, just in different contexts and in a different time. Yes, times change, but the way people function doesn't. Human nature stays the same regardless of who plays what part and what technology or change takes place in society. Human emotion is also never changing. So by taking advice from a few of my close relatives, (you know who you are) I have found tranquillity to an extent that I could have never dreamed. At first (after ending a serious relationship that had gone sour on both sides) I felt lonliness and almost felt the need to keep speaking to her. But matters only continued getting worse. There are some things that have yet to be taken care of, but I know that they won't last forever... so I'm not concerned.
Whatever the future holds for me, from now on, I am going to accept as my fate. But as new doorways are opening, I am going to keep my distance until I know it is safe to walk through. I have more than enough regret about the past couple years of my life because I could have been doing alot better for myself and could have been making much better choices when it came to where I was putting my heart. But friends, enemies, haters, ex girlfriends, family, whoever is reading this... I'll have you know that I am happier than I have been in a very long time. And there is NOTHING that can stand in my way. Take care and I'll be writing again soon.
-quixotic-
I am going to hold my head up, because there are many that want me to fail... and by being positive, it will never happen. I am following my dreams, and I am following every one that I've ever had. I am bringing in new ideas to reform the way I live and function, because the old ways were not working. I will work my hardest at my job and do whatever I can to make money until next year. Then it will be time to start school. I will be going 5 days a week from 8am to 5pm. I will give it everything I've got. After the first year, I will hope to have a job that will help me pay for a mortgage on a house. Ill fix the house up and make it my home. From there I will begin to search for a woman that has her head on straight that I can live with as long as my heart decides to beat.
Now enough about me... let me tell you what I've learned this past year and moreso, this past week:
Family:
I've always had family around... and they've always supported me through everything (even when I am wrong, unfortunately). But it wasn't until recently that I discovered that all of my family has been through everything I have, just in different contexts and in a different time. Yes, times change, but the way people function doesn't. Human nature stays the same regardless of who plays what part and what technology or change takes place in society. Human emotion is also never changing. So by taking advice from a few of my close relatives, (you know who you are) I have found tranquillity to an extent that I could have never dreamed. At first (after ending a serious relationship that had gone sour on both sides) I felt lonliness and almost felt the need to keep speaking to her. But matters only continued getting worse. There are some things that have yet to be taken care of, but I know that they won't last forever... so I'm not concerned.
Whatever the future holds for me, from now on, I am going to accept as my fate. But as new doorways are opening, I am going to keep my distance until I know it is safe to walk through. I have more than enough regret about the past couple years of my life because I could have been doing alot better for myself and could have been making much better choices when it came to where I was putting my heart. But friends, enemies, haters, ex girlfriends, family, whoever is reading this... I'll have you know that I am happier than I have been in a very long time. And there is NOTHING that can stand in my way. Take care and I'll be writing again soon.
-quixotic-