The Valentine

The past few valentines days have been hectic and have gone terribly wrong. This year was different... much different. She came over today, dressed in the finest way possible and looking incredible stunning too, with a gaze in her eyes that could only be marked as nothing but good intentions for the day.

I was also dressed very nicely. So we set off into our venturous valentines day celebrations. During dinner, I continually noticed her smile like I never have before. It was the happiest she had been around me in quite a while. Needless to say, it felt good to know she could smile around me again. We talked, not a whole lot, but a good amount. Not about anything too serious, just cutesy conversation.

For the first time in over a year, I felt as if things were going the way they needed to be going. I was amazed that we got along so well. And I do not think it was because it was the most romantic holiday of the year. I think it was more because a lot of feelings were expressed. Every little bit of hope she gives me helps me through the next day of winning back her trust. We still seem to be hung up on the forgiveness problem but I know she will forgive me when she is ready. I have nothing but patience for her. In fact, I will not give up... not now and not ever.

So we went and saw the movie ironically titled Valentines Day. It was a definite let down of a film but all that matters is that I got to spend an incredible 90 minutes next to the most beautiful and amazing girl in the world. As she stretched her legs across my lap and we slipped into a somewhat comfortable pretzel of a seating arrangement, I repeatedly removed my eyes from the screen to see her... and only her, sitting next to me. I thought to myself, "She IS the only girl I will ever need. She is the only girl I will ever be able to sit this comfortably next to. And she is the only girl I will ever love again." Call me an idiot, call me childish, crazy, call me whatever... but I am not the kind of guy that admits these kinds of things to myself. It took me three years to figure out where my heart belonged and it took me three years to stop doing the immature and selfish things I was doing. These weren't just spur-of-the-moment words running through my head.

This valentines day, hopefully, will be the first of many amazing valentines days with her. I do not want to miss another minute that I could have spent with her and I have more than enough making up to do. Fingers crossed, this frustration and trust issue will end soon enough. With her, I am at peace with myself. Nothing else matters when I am with her. Nothing else bothers me. She is my nirvana. I love her through and through to the very last hair on her head. Happy Valentines day.

-quixotic-