Occasionally...

Occasionally I hang my head low and remember my past mistakes. I cry and contemplate the things Ive done and the things that I have changed. Occasionally I am not on top of my game, I leave out the important things and it causes me pain. Occasionally I think of you and wished I would not have ruined it. I beg and plead, get on my knees, and apologize for all the fits. Occasionally I get to sleep and I get to be at peace with myself. Other nights I am up til dawn and I cannot even find a way to forgive MYSELF. I told you what you needed to hear, and I do what I need to do... But I can never be certain again, that I'll spend my life with you. There's things I've changed and things I've let go, there's things I can't replace, the first six months of my daughters life, my memories cannot retrace. But I am here now, something has changed me somehow, something I cannot explain. If this isn't love than nothing is, and my entire life is in vain. I'll stay this way to be the man that I should have been before, and so it begins, I'll try to win, your heart over once more. What I'd give to have your scent across my sheets and together grow older, and every morning I'll wake up beside you and kiss you on your silky shoulder. Then wake up the little one, smile at her gently, I wouldn't want anyone else to hold her. All my life I've wanted one thing, I've wanted to succeed, and with this promise I give to you, I know it holds the key. I'll love you both til breath runs out, I'll love in sickness and health, I'll show you emotions you've never felt. I'll stand my ground and be a man, a dad, a husband, a king... and you can be my queen my love, and we will raise our princess best we can and I'll carry you both on my wing. I promise to stay true to you and treat you with respect, I promise to deliver my word, and let no other person in, because you and I connect. I promise that my passion won't fade, I promise that I'll try, to give you everything you dreamed you could ever want from a guy. Dear love, Occasionally I change my mind about things but this is not that thing. I'll stick with this until I die, I'll take away the sting. Occasionally I beat you to the punch, this will not be pretend, "our love is neverending dear, and that means it will never end."

-Quixotic-