The Courtesy

Some people are hopeless, others have complete faith in themselves. No matter what the goal is, feeling hopeless and insecure about it will not get you anywhere. In fact, it will just make things worse. I have faith that I can do anything I want in this sad, simple, idiotic world. I don't need security in anything because I am secure in myself. I know what I am capable of, I just never tried to fight for it. I know what kind of a man I can be, I just never tried to be that man until now. I have a lot of things to be sorry for but they are not going to hold me back in life. I have a lot of things that I should be sitting around crying about all day but I'm not because I have accepted that it was my mistakes and no one elses. Its not alcohol or drugs fault, its not the people that pulled me down's fault, and it certainly isn't anyone elses fault. Its my fault and I am the only one to blame for my mistakes. Now that I've realized that, I feel like I've come to a state of security in myself. I have a lot to lose, but if I lose it all, its not going to be because of anything I've done recently... its going to be because of something I did in my past. If I lose those things to my past, so be it. I have a future that is going to be incredible either way. I know who I am and what I am fighting for. I know that I am one hundred percent in this for the gold medal. I know that no matter what happens I can keep moving on... but thats not to say I will give up on anything or anyone until its completely out of my reach. I'm not a failure, and I'm not the kind of guy that will settle for anything short of amazing, and I will not stand for any amount of "you-cant-do-it" attitude.

-quixotic-