Reverberating Difficulties

I've come clean about alot of things recently to my family and to the mother of my child (as mentioned in "coffee talk"). Some mistakes come back to haunt you, some don't. All of mine have. In the fight for the recovery of my lost trust with certain people, I am going to have to go through many of these situations. But the last thing I am going to do is give up. I have an obligation to try if not anything else. Giving up now would make me not only a failure, but an even bigger idiot for not trying to make things right. I may lose the love of my life through all this, (I pray to God that I dont.) but I won't quit striving for my own personal success even then. I have windows of opportunity opening up all over the place since I have decided to return home. Things are looking up for me. But there is this continual monkey on my back that won't disappear until everyone from my past disappears. Unfortunately, we can't just make people disappear. We can not associate with them or just plain disable their abilities of contact from us but they will always be in our past. So finally, I am pleased to announce that no one and nothing is going to stand in my way and no one can stop me from doing what I plan on doing. I am imperfect, yes. I am an asshole, yes. And I have a rough looking, unfortunate, terribly dreadful tide of shit storm following me from years ago. But who are you to tell me I can't change? Who are you to say that I WILL do the same thing I have done in the past all over again? Who are you to even tell me anything at all? I think for myself now. Nothing to block my thoughts, no one to pull me away from where I need to be, and nothing to stop me from what, inevitably, has to be done.